Hopes and Fears
by AShauni21
Summary: Hiei has finally made the decision to tell Yukina the 'truth'.But can Hiei let Yukina goto protect her, or will she find the real truth.TWOSHOT.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hopes and Fears**_

By: AShauni21

_**denotes flashbacks**_

_thinking_

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.

I sat there, transfixed by her. Those ruby orbs of hers shone so beautifully in the light, intently fixed on Kurama as the fox regaled everyone with a detailed retelling of our last mission. Inwardly I winced as I replayed the mission in my head, that bitch's voice rang in my ears and I clenched my fists just thinking about it.

_**"You coward," she sneered at me. Her long black hair fell around her face like a funeral veil, as she shook with laughter. I felt a fire spread throughout my chest as she raped my tightly guarded emotions. "She scares you .Oh that is rich, doyou think she could ever love you after everything you've done, every lie you told her." **_

I shook my head trying to shake that bitches voice from my thoughts. Just remembering her voice makes my blood boil. She was right, as much as I didn't want to admit it, I'm terrified of Yukina. That's why I came to a decision.

"Mr. Hiei, are you alright?" Yukina's soft voice penetrated my thoughts, concern clearly showing in her deep ruby eyes.

"Why do you ask." I replied a little more harshly than I intended. Kurama had stopped talking and you could've heard a pin drop. They were all staring at me and I shifted uncomfortably under their gaze.

"Hiei you're bleeding." Kurama said as he stared down at the hand clenched by my side; I followed his gaze and saw droplets of blood pooling on the floor. "Shit..." was all I could say. Now they were all staring at me, the oaf, the detective, the oaf's sister, the detective's woman, the fox, even the hold hag. The walls started to close in on me.

"Hn." was all I said before I made my way outside. I needed the night, the cool breeze on my face and the full moon above me. Wide open spaces.

The wind carried a chill with it but I didn't mind. Times like this I needed the cold, it cleared my head and grounded me in the here and now.

"Mr. Hiei..." I turned to meet Yukina's worried expression. " Let me heal your wound."

Before I could protest she clasp my hands in hers. It felt right, the warmth flowing from her hands to mine. I savored the feeling. When I told her about her brother, I would at least have this memory.

"Yukina, I have news of your brother." I said quietly. She looked up at me with hope glistening in her eyes. I abruptly removed my hands and turned my back on her, I couldn't say what I was about to say with her innocent crimson eyes staring into my harsh ones. A long silence hung between us as I searched for the right words.

"Please Hiei." she pleaded, finally dropping the formality. I heard the clank, clank of teargems , I was breaking her heart with this silence; and her tears were breaking mine. _Please sister forgive me for what I am about to do._

"Your brother is every bit the blood thirsty monster your people thought him to be." I said quietly. _Dam it all. I can't stop now. _

"He lied , cheated, manipulated, and murdered. He delighted in spilling the blood of anything that got in his way." I paused, waiting for the inevitable disgust in her eyes as I turned to meet her gaze. But there was only hope shimmering in those crimson depths.

"Is he alive Mr. Hiei?" that dam formality again.

"Yes" I said quietly, her ruby eyes glazed over with tears again, only this time they were tears of joy. _After everything I just said... _

"You must take me to him. Please I have to see my brother."

"After everything I just told you about him, you still want him?" I asked genuinely confused.

"Yes, and thank you so much Mr. Hiei! Thank you so much." she said nearly jumping for joy, and I could tell it was all she could do not to envelop me in a bear hug.

"Wait," I grabbed her arm in an attempt to calm her down. The girl looked like she was about to jump out of her skin.

"Why do you want to see him? His soul is tainted, it was so before birth." I said a little more harshly than I intended. My chest was starting to tighten, I had to know why.

"You're wrong." her demeanor suddenly changed, the smile faded from her face and a harsh tone shone in her eyes and voice. "I was in the womb with my brother and I can assure you he was not tainted. Any impurity in his soul only exists because of what my people did to him." I stared into those crimson eyes that seemed to gaze into my very soul..._ This can't be... _I could hear the walls cracking.

"He was never loved, never nurtured. If he truly is the monster you claim him to be, its only because of the life he has had to lead." the sorrow in her voice told me more than she could actually say. The glisten on her cheeks, from previously shed teargems, made my heart melt because they were shed in my defense. It was a gift I would never take for granted.

"I have to show him how wrong they were. I have to show him he is loved and always was." There they went, the walls surrounding my heart, barriers I spent my entire life creating; came crashing down. I felt moisture roll down my cheek and heard the clank as it crystalized and hit the ground.

_Dam ...emotions..._

"Hiei" she said as she hesitantly wrapped her arms around my shoulders and pulled me into a comforting embrace. I just pulled her closer and buried my face in her hair. "I'm sorry Yukina, I'm so sorry. Forgive me please all the lies I told you." I whispered into her ear, I tried to stop the words but they just tumbled out. She pulled away from me and reluctantly I let her go. She stared at me with utter shock in her eyes.

"Hiei... are ... you..."

* * *

I know I'm evil. Don't worry this is a two- shot and I'll only wait a day or so to post the conclusion.Until then R&R. **Love and Peace!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note:** Just so people understand this is not a strictly Hiei/ Yukina sibling fluff fic, the reason he came to this decision in the first place is because of the last mission.(remember the flashback sequence?) This will be the catalyst for a larger story so I felt I had to add every character if only for a little bit. Don't worry, there will be more than enough H/Y fluff to go around. That being said, on with the fic.

**_Hopes and Fears: Part2_**

By: AShauni21

"YUUKIIIINA, where are you my sweet?" Kuwabara's loud voice reverberated off the walls of Genkai's temple. He frantically searched one corner of the room to the other in hopes of finding his true love.

"Kuwabara, shut up." Yusuke said as he halted the orange haired teen with a open-handed rap to the back of the head.

"What did you do that for Urimeshi?" Kuwabara asked rubbing the rapidly developing knot on his noggin.

"Yukina is taking care of some issues with Hiei." Kurama said, trying to diffuse the situation before the violence escalated.

"What, she followed the shrimp outside?" Kuwabara stalked over to the door, but Yusuke grabbed his collar and pulled him back.

"Let me go Urimeshi." Gone was the loud, obnoxious Kuwabara. In his place was a man, whose jealously was clearly clouding his better judgement.

"You have nothing to worry about Kuwabara." Yusuke said, his normal cockiness barely noticeable in the quiet serious tone of his voice.

"Yusuke's right Kuwabara. Yukina loves you." Kurama once again tried to smooth over the situation, and give Hiei the time he needed.

"Yeah I know Kurama. But there is..._something _between them. Hiei's eyes.. soften when she's around, and it scares the hell outta me, ok." Kuwabara replied, running a shaky hand through his rust colored hair.

"Let them deal with this, then she'll come back to you." Yusuke said trying to comfort his friend.

"I'm still going!" Kuwabara said, regaining his loud voice. Yusuke merely grabbed his arm and threw him to the ground.

"Stop being a jerk, or I'm gonna kick your ass, Kuwabara"

"You're the jerk Urimeshi. Not letting me go to my beloved, that's low." Kuwabara said, "Besides I would like to see you try, I'll kick your ass any day of the week."

"Remember, you asked for this." Yusuke said, cracking his knuckles. He threw his famous right hook and connected with Kuwabara's cheek.

"Here we go again, why do I have to be the only sane one?" Kurama asked quietly running his fingers through his crimson locks, and suppressing a smile at his friends antics.

"You'd think Kuwabara would learn by now." Botan chimed in, in her ever cheery voice.

"Thats my baby brother for you, always the stubborn one." Shizuru said as she lit another cigarette.

"Hiei...are you ...my...brother?" Yukina asked me in that ever gentle voice. I looked into those ever shining ruby pools and saw it when she finally made the connection.

I just stood their and gazed into her eyes. I was ridden with shame and guilt; but I would face her, she deserved at least that from me. I would not turn away. However I could not bring myself to tell her that all the tears she cried were in vain, that I had been here all along.

"Are you my brother Hiei?" she asked, no demanded, with more conviction in her voice than when she defended me only moments earlier. My only response to her was a hesitant nod.

"I need to hear the words Hiei."

"Yes, I'm ...your brother."Gods was that my voice, it sounded so ..._pathetic._

For a moment an awkward silence hung in the air. How could she forgive me for lying to her and causing her so much pain, and suddenly the fear of rejection that I grabbed onto as my excuse seemed so trivial. This should have never been about me, and I made it so. She only wanted to find her brother, recover a piece of her family that was denied her. The only family she had left.

Thats when I realized it, she had suffered as much as I did, she was just as much of a victim. Even more so than myself. Even more guilt piled upon my shoulders as the imaginary weight weighed my head down, and suddenly the ground seemed so interesting.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked in a voice I never imagined could come from her. The fury coming from that usually kind voice, it was a living breathing entity surrounding us. Taunting me.

"How could you... lie to me ... so many times." Yukina asked, her voice still seething and she clenched her fists.

"I'm sorry.." I heard my self mutter. Could that really be my voice, it sounded so small and childlike. My how the tables had turned.

"You're ... _sorry_." She said like it was a dirty word, like she needed to take a shower from merely uttering the word.

I turned away from her, I couldn't take this. My worst fears were coming true right before my eyes; and it wasn't because of my past, it was because of my inability to deal with it. I had this overwhelming urge to run, because frankly I was just to terrified to face her any longer.

I started to flit off, what else could I do in that moment but run.

"Don't you run from me, Hiei.", she cried as she quickly grabbed my shoulders, I didn't even see her move._ How did she do that_...

"You can't run away, not from this and not from me." she cried again as angry tears clanked around our feet. "Why? Why were you afraid to let me love you?" she asked in a more Yukina like tone.

"Please, don't cry anymore. I don't deserve your tears." I finally met her gaze again. The sadness in those crimson depths was more than I could take, I gently pushed away a stray tear before it crystallized. _You deserve so much more_...

"How ...how can you say that?" she said as she placed her hands on each side of my face.

Shit, did I actually say that out loud.

"B..because it's the truth.' I said shakily.

"Don't say that, you're all I ever needed." she replied quietly.

"How can you forgive me?" I asked in that child-like voice again, only this time it held a small sliver of hope.

"Simple, you're my brother." She replied. I looked up into those eyes and saw the love shining in their depths. A warm sensation flowed through my chest as I realized not only had she forgiven me, she also called me _brother._


End file.
